What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

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  • Create Date:2022-02-10 20:21:33
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
  • Status:finish
  • Author:Stephanie Foo
  • ISBN:B095MPG9CF
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Reviews

Megan Bingman

So friggin’ good。 I felt seen and heard。 I laughed and cried。 I had my breath taken away。 Ah-maze-ing。

Kari Gehman

I never thought I would read a book about complex PTSD and enjoy the experience, but enjoy it I certainly did。 Stephanie Foo writes her story in such a way that although you can feel her pain, it isn't overwhelming。 She is both logical and emotional。 She teaches you the science while not disassociating。I am in awe of her willingness to be vulnerable and share so much of herself within these pages。 She invites the reader into her most painful memories and allows us to see her transform。I want to I never thought I would read a book about complex PTSD and enjoy the experience, but enjoy it I certainly did。 Stephanie Foo writes her story in such a way that although you can feel her pain, it isn't overwhelming。 She is both logical and emotional。 She teaches you the science while not disassociating。I am in awe of her willingness to be vulnerable and share so much of herself within these pages。 She invites the reader into her most painful memories and allows us to see her transform。I want to share this book with everyone。 With the appropriate trigger warning, of course。 。。。more

Rennie

oh man this was a lot take in but all of it was so, so good。

Marsha

This is a brutally honest and humble memoir about a person who suffered extreme violence, neglect and emotional abuse as a child, achieved career success and a loving life partner, and then set on a path to try to heal herself。 Abuse from her parents that continued on into adulthood left her with a hopelessly tangled set of emotional issues and you may think that reading about her journey through different kinds of therapies to fix herself would be a heavy go。 It's not。 She's written with humili This is a brutally honest and humble memoir about a person who suffered extreme violence, neglect and emotional abuse as a child, achieved career success and a loving life partner, and then set on a path to try to heal herself。 Abuse from her parents that continued on into adulthood left her with a hopelessly tangled set of emotional issues and you may think that reading about her journey through different kinds of therapies to fix herself would be a heavy go。 It's not。 She's written with humility and insight about every step of her journey。 This is a useful read for anyone who has suffered from extreme emotional trauma but also gives insight for those who have friends or family who have lived through such abuse -- basically meaning we can all deepen our empathy by reading this book。 The memoir is peppered with stunning gems of insight and I have such deep admiration for Stephanie Foo。 Hers is an unforgettable journey。 Read this book。#netgalley 。。。more

Sue Purbrick

An interesting read about Stephanie Foo’s experience of complex PSTD (C-PSTD)。 She suffered an unimaginably abusive childhood which resulted in this disorder, a diagnosis she only learnt of when she was thirty, eight years after starting therapy。 Brought up in San Jose, a city of immigrants, Foo describes how most parents there came from brutal pasts, and that the children bore the brunt of this。 No-one discussed this trauma—the community didn’t believe in mental illness, nor did it allow for em An interesting read about Stephanie Foo’s experience of complex PSTD (C-PSTD)。 She suffered an unimaginably abusive childhood which resulted in this disorder, a diagnosis she only learnt of when she was thirty, eight years after starting therapy。 Brought up in San Jose, a city of immigrants, Foo describes how most parents there came from brutal pasts, and that the children bore the brunt of this。 No-one discussed this trauma—the community didn’t believe in mental illness, nor did it allow for emotions or failure。 Foo, determined to conquer her demons, set out to research C-PSTD, and she presents her findings as well as her journey to understand and live with it, in a refreshing, engaging way。 Most fascinating is that she found trauma can be inherited, which is reflected in the title of her book。I was also bowled over by the fact that during the pandemic, Foo suddenly starts to feel normal。 As her (new) therapist points out, PTSD is only a mental illness in times of peace。 In a crisis, you are totally prepared – it is what you’re made for。This was a very difficult read in parts – particularly the start about her upbringing。 But as Foo promises at the beginning, it has a happy ending。 。。。more

Lindy

I was interested in reading this book because I am currently working on figuring out my own C-PTSD。 I initially scoffed at the warning up front because I didn’t think it would be a problem, but I did find the first section quite triggering。 I ended skimming it more than reading。 But once I got to the second section, it was much easier to take in。 The writing is beautiful and funny and I appreciated the way Foo distills the extensive research she’s done into more manageable bites。 I found myself I was interested in reading this book because I am currently working on figuring out my own C-PTSD。 I initially scoffed at the warning up front because I didn’t think it would be a problem, but I did find the first section quite triggering。 I ended skimming it more than reading。 But once I got to the second section, it was much easier to take in。 The writing is beautiful and funny and I appreciated the way Foo distills the extensive research she’s done into more manageable bites。 I found myself highlighting many passages to bring up with my therapist because she put some many of my thoughts and feelings into words so perfectly。 As I was reading, I often found tears streaming down my face without even realizing I was crying。 I still clearly have a long way to go but this book gave me hope that I’ll get there eventually。ARC provided by NetGalley 。。。more

Bri (readingknitter)

My first five star read of 2022! In this memoir, Foo dives into exploring her own experience with complex PTSD, and the difficulty with learning about and understanding her diagnosis。 There is not another book out there that paints a comprehensive, accessible picture of the ramifications of living with long term complex trauma。 This book will be a godsend for so many。 If you had a traumatic childhood, you will cry and learn from this。 Foo lays it all out, including an unflinching look at her own My first five star read of 2022! In this memoir, Foo dives into exploring her own experience with complex PTSD, and the difficulty with learning about and understanding her diagnosis。 There is not another book out there that paints a comprehensive, accessible picture of the ramifications of living with long term complex trauma。 This book will be a godsend for so many。 If you had a traumatic childhood, you will cry and learn from this。 Foo lays it all out, including an unflinching look at her own cruelties and vulnerabilities。 I will forever be recommending this book: a much needed resource and narrative for so many。 Disclaimer: I was provided an early copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more

Monica | San Fran Literary Gal

Review to come。

Susie Dumond

Despite building a stable and fulfilling life for herself, Stephanie Foo couldn’t escape her panic attacks。 She was diagnosed with complex PTSD, the result of years of trauma from abusive parents who ultimately abandoned her as a teenager。 Despite her efforts to move on, her C-PTSD diagnosis showed Foo how her trauma would continue to haunt her life and relationships。 This memoir follows Foo as she learns more about her condition — and about the long history of trauma and pain in her family。 I'm Despite building a stable and fulfilling life for herself, Stephanie Foo couldn’t escape her panic attacks。 She was diagnosed with complex PTSD, the result of years of trauma from abusive parents who ultimately abandoned her as a teenager。 Despite her efforts to move on, her C-PTSD diagnosis showed Foo how her trauma would continue to haunt her life and relationships。 This memoir follows Foo as she learns more about her condition — and about the long history of trauma and pain in her family。 I'm truly in awe of how Stephanie Foo has crafted this devastating, empowering, gorgeous memoir。 It's both personal and expansive, heartbreaking and life affirming。 I sobbed my way through the last quarter。 This book is for anyone who has suffered from trauma, as well as anyone who wants to learn how to better support the people in their lives who need their love the most。 Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for my honest review。 。。。more

Malia

This is a very good memoir about facing childhood trauma! I think I prefer to read memoirs by people who've come along way in their journey to feeling good about their life, because their path is singular and they acknowledge that, rather than a self-help book that is prescriptive。 For people who struggle with past trauma, there will probably be parts that really resonate and parts that don't, and that alone is interesting。 There are also really interesting and valuable sections about inherited This is a very good memoir about facing childhood trauma! I think I prefer to read memoirs by people who've come along way in their journey to feeling good about their life, because their path is singular and they acknowledge that, rather than a self-help book that is prescriptive。 For people who struggle with past trauma, there will probably be parts that really resonate and parts that don't, and that alone is interesting。 There are also really interesting and valuable sections about inherited trauma and the intersections of race and trauma。There are some similarities for me between this book and Know My Name, in that the actual process of healing was given much attention in the book。 And I appreciated how clear-headed and thorough this book was, though I don't think the prose was as beautiful as Know My Name's。I really recommend this book for anyone who struggles with childhood trauma or is interested in understanding someone who struggles。 The author has done so much work putting words to experiences that are really hard to capture, and it feels like that work could create shortcuts for some other people on a similar path。***Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review。*** 。。。more

Judy

Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: Foo is a survivor of physical and emotional childhood abuse which left her with a form of PTSD: "complex PTSD"。 This memoir chronicles her efforts to get treatment and information about her condition。 As with many psychiatric conditions there is a lack of consensus and knowledge around C-PTSD。 F00 is a journalist and writer。 She is very thorough and revealing。 She does come from a place of privilege: the ability to leave her job to pursue focused healing and the a Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: Foo is a survivor of physical and emotional childhood abuse which left her with a form of PTSD: "complex PTSD"。 This memoir chronicles her efforts to get treatment and information about her condition。 As with many psychiatric conditions there is a lack of consensus and knowledge around C-PTSD。 F00 is a journalist and writer。 She is very thorough and revealing。 She does come from a place of privilege: the ability to leave her job to pursue focused healing and the ability to contact experts and receive pro bono therapy。 Having worked with patients with serious mental illness, this is uncommon。 Her research is extensive, but I did find the book overly long and felt it could use some editing。 It is, however, an excellent resource。 。。。more

Melissa

First: ALL the CW for childhood physical, verbal, and psychological abuse, the author doesn't hold back in describing her childhood。This is an incredible memoir plus investigation into the psychology and treatment of complex PTSD (C-PTSD), beautifully written and guttingly honest。 First: ALL the CW for childhood physical, verbal, and psychological abuse, the author doesn't hold back in describing her childhood。This is an incredible memoir plus investigation into the psychology and treatment of complex PTSD (C-PTSD), beautifully written and guttingly honest。 。。。more

Haley

After receiving a complex-PTSD diagnosis early in her adult life, Foo begins the journey towards healing from the childhood abuse she suffered at the hands of her family。 Foo uses her journalism background and gift for storytelling to show the gritty process of building a support network and understanding oneself in light of a diagnosis such as this。 This memoir is introspective at its heart, but includes in-depth analysis of intergenerational trauma, eastern religion, and trauma within the AAPI After receiving a complex-PTSD diagnosis early in her adult life, Foo begins the journey towards healing from the childhood abuse she suffered at the hands of her family。 Foo uses her journalism background and gift for storytelling to show the gritty process of building a support network and understanding oneself in light of a diagnosis such as this。 This memoir is introspective at its heart, but includes in-depth analysis of intergenerational trauma, eastern religion, and trauma within the AAPI community。 Foo’s personality is a driving force behind what makes this memoir so great。 You can feel her humor, fear, and courage in an almost tangible way, making it easy to connect with her and her story, even if you’ve never experienced C-PTSD yourself。 Thanks to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for an advanced copy! 。。。more

BookBlanketFort

What a phenomenal book。 While reading, I took refuge in What My Bones Know, a memoir about healing from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder。 *In the first part of the book, author, journalist, and podcaster Stephanie Foo takes us through her childhood, filled with parental abuse and abandonment。 But the bulk of the book is Foo’s journey to heal the psychic wounds from that experience。 It may sound dry or overly “feely。” It’s not。 It’s funny and sarcastic and tender and a total page turner。 I What a phenomenal book。 While reading, I took refuge in What My Bones Know, a memoir about healing from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder。 *In the first part of the book, author, journalist, and podcaster Stephanie Foo takes us through her childhood, filled with parental abuse and abandonment。 But the bulk of the book is Foo’s journey to heal the psychic wounds from that experience。 It may sound dry or overly “feely。” It’s not。 It’s funny and sarcastic and tender and a total page turner。 I read this in 3 sittings! Flip through for a few passages that hit me deeply。*There’s other good stuff here too。 Foo shares the inside story of the podcasting world。 You might recognize her from This American Life or Snap Judgment。 Through her career and mental health struggles she explores bias against Asian Americans。 But she does it in this personal, engaging way that pulls you in just like an episode of your favorite podcast。 Highly recommend this fascinating, important book。 *Thanks to @netgalley for the ARC of this book。 Look for it in bookstores in February 2022。 。。。more

Michelle Garrett

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of WHAT MY BONES KNOW by Stephanie Foo。 As someone with my own mental health struggles, I really identified with the theme of this book and the ways that Foo worked so hard to deal with her trauma and create a healthy life for herself。 Even though our traumas and mental health problems weren't the same, the process of recovery had enough similarities for this to be a really helpful and powerful book for me to read。 I also actually grew up in the San Jose, Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of WHAT MY BONES KNOW by Stephanie Foo。 As someone with my own mental health struggles, I really identified with the theme of this book and the ways that Foo worked so hard to deal with her trauma and create a healthy life for herself。 Even though our traumas and mental health problems weren't the same, the process of recovery had enough similarities for this to be a really helpful and powerful book for me to read。 I also actually grew up in the San Jose, probably around the same time as Foo。 She attended a high school in my district and we most likely have friends in common, so reading her deep dive on San Jose was really cool for me。 Honestly, as a white person, I'm ashamed to say there was a lot I still didn't know about the immigrant experience despite how much I was around immigrants and the children of immigrants growing up。 I wasn't aware of how wide-spread the physical abuse was or how much trauma was involved。 I really appreciated how much Foo shed the light on that。 This was book really well-researched, really well-thought out, and I'm sure was so hard for Foo to write, but I'm so grateful she did。 I highly recommend it! 。。。more

Janilyn Kocher

Each time I read a book like this, I learn new things。 I know about PTSD, but not the complex form like the author has。 Her childhood was terrible with abusive parents who basically abandoned her。 That was appalling to read。 I focused more on her personal story than the diagnosis and therapy aspects。 Foo is a Testament to perseverance and temerity。 When she talks about changing doctors who no longer worked for her, I thought how we all have to be our own best advocates。 Much food for thought in Each time I read a book like this, I learn new things。 I know about PTSD, but not the complex form like the author has。 Her childhood was terrible with abusive parents who basically abandoned her。 That was appalling to read。 I focused more on her personal story than the diagnosis and therapy aspects。 Foo is a Testament to perseverance and temerity。 When she talks about changing doctors who no longer worked for her, I thought how we all have to be our own best advocates。 Much food for thought in this memoir。 Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for the early read。 。。。more

Debbie

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it, click here。 Thank you Netgalley for providing me with a free read in exchange for this reviewI read the disclaimer that this book might be triggering for some。 I dismissed that right away。 I'm good。 I can't be triggered。 I was wrong because this book really shook me up, so much so that I had a tough time sitting and reviewing it。 I'm doing it though because this is an amazing book that deserves praise。I feel like Stephanie Foo and I are soul sisters。 Besides the fact that she is smart, young, hip and succe Thank you Netgalley for providing me with a free read in exchange for this reviewI read the disclaimer that this book might be triggering for some。 I dismissed that right away。 I'm good。 I can't be triggered。 I was wrong because this book really shook me up, so much so that I had a tough time sitting and reviewing it。 I'm doing it though because this is an amazing book that deserves praise。I feel like Stephanie Foo and I are soul sisters。 Besides the fact that she is smart, young, hip and successful (I am none of these things) we are so much alike! Stephanie and I share a tie that too many of us do。 We were really messed with as children。 That abuse has made both of us exhibit PTSD behavior as adults。 We also have our differences, Stephanie acts out aggressively。 I tend to be extremely passive。There's a part of the story where Stephanie is in group therapy。 The others in group say they're jealous because Stephanie wasn't subjected to a certain kind of abuse that they were, so she wasn't as messed up in a certain way。 That really stuck with me。 People I know well do tend to compare childhood traumas and try to one up each other。 It's a weird little sick game that is hard to break from。 I was so tempted to dismiss some of Stephanie's horrors (and she was subjected to terrible abuse) by thinking mine were worse。 I took the test and got a 9 but who cares? I know pain is pain and trauma is trauma。Some of the therapies that Stephanie used I could never do, such as the eye movement thing。 Most of the information was really helpful - hopefully life changing。This is a brave, informative book。 It's a brightly written book about a dark subject。 I have huge admiration for Stephanie Foo。 。。。more

Suanne

Stephanie Foo uses her journalism background to research and beautifully write her memoir of surviving long-term childhood abuse。 She simultaneously places her entire life in review, revealing her most intimate feats and desires。 As a survivor of childhood abuse (though not as horrific as that which Ms。 Foo endured), I felt sympathy and horror and relived much of my own maltreatment。 Ms。 Foo freely admits her anger and shame present in her life。 Fortunately, she has the wisdom to seek treatment Stephanie Foo uses her journalism background to research and beautifully write her memoir of surviving long-term childhood abuse。 She simultaneously places her entire life in review, revealing her most intimate feats and desires。 As a survivor of childhood abuse (though not as horrific as that which Ms。 Foo endured), I felt sympathy and horror and relived much of my own maltreatment。 Ms。 Foo freely admits her anger and shame present in her life。 Fortunately, she has the wisdom to seek treatment from multiple mental health professionals—to quit those who didn’t help her。 She tells her story with humor, despite its horrors。 This was a marvelous book with much insight into Ms。 Foo’s personality, her problems, her strengths, and is well worth reading。 People who might be triggered by fairly blunt descriptions of the abuse she sustained should read this with caution。 。。。more

Carol Dass

Thank you to the author for telling such an awesome story about herself and her trauma。 It was so raw and honest。 I feel I learned more about trauma and how deeply it can affect people。 It was hard to read at times because her abuse was so brutal but she always wanted to heal herself。 A great ending!I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book。 All thoughts and opinions are my own。

Jennifer Russell

Stephanie Foo gives an in-depth look at complex PTSD and how to overcome the challenges that come from a traumatic childhood。 Foo's vulnerability is the most impressive part of this book。 It wasn't my favorite writing style and the content was hard to get through at times, but the impact of her vulnerability is worth pursuing the book to the end。 While I was unable to relate to much of Foo's story, I found myself rooting for her to find answers。 This book is a great look at how mental health is Stephanie Foo gives an in-depth look at complex PTSD and how to overcome the challenges that come from a traumatic childhood。 Foo's vulnerability is the most impressive part of this book。 It wasn't my favorite writing style and the content was hard to get through at times, but the impact of her vulnerability is worth pursuing the book to the end。 While I was unable to relate to much of Foo's story, I found myself rooting for her to find answers。 This book is a great look at how mental health is managed in our country and how you have to be self-motivated if you want to find answers。 This book won't be for everyone, but I think it will immensely help some people。 。。。more

Mary

Wow。 How to start。。。。。 I requested What My Bones Know because I have C-PTSD myself , and the。 I worried that I’d get bored, think it too long or something。 It was neither。 It was amazing。 First of all, Stephanie Foo is a true writer。 Her words are set onto the page as artful storytelling。 Her childhood is heartbreaking and sad, but she’s her own hero without even knowing it because she stays in school and begins a career while completing on her own from a very young age。 She does this lugging ar Wow。 How to start。。。。。 I requested What My Bones Know because I have C-PTSD myself , and the。 I worried that I’d get bored, think it too long or something。 It was neither。 It was amazing。 First of all, Stephanie Foo is a true writer。 Her words are set onto the page as artful storytelling。 Her childhood is heartbreaking and sad, but she’s her own hero without even knowing it because she stays in school and begins a career while completing on her own from a very young age。 She does this lugging around plenty of baggage, but she does it。 I think at this early age her bones knew she was frickin’ awesome and worthy, even though her parents had taught her the opposite。 We witness how C-PTSD screws with your head, self esteem, relationships, jobs and every moment。 Once diagnosed we go along with Stephanie on her search to heal and that’s where my reading slowed down because I was constantly stopping to highlight passages to revisit later。 As I read through those sections I had epiphanies and ah-ha moments all over the place。 I got into these pages while I was in my own 2 day low of sadness and anxiety, with a sprinkle of panic without understanding what triggered that, then In my reading I had the lightbulb moment and realized what is what。。。。。which led to me processing that and letting go of the panic and sadness。 I know that this book is not a cure, but it is an eye opener for anyone with C-PTSD and anyone who loves or has a relationship with someone with C-PTSD (which is probably all of us)。 As soon as this book hits the selves I will buy a copy for my daughter。 This book will be added to my “These Books Are Special” goodreads shelf and I will recommend it to many, many people in my life in addition to sharing my review。 Thank you #StephanieFoo for telling your story。 Thank you #netgalley for letting me read and review #WhatMyBonesKnow。 。。。more

Jen Juenke

Whoa! Let me take a few deep breaths。 This book。。。。WOW!I laid awake all last night wondering how I was going to write this review。First let me tell the author thank you。 Thank you for writing this book, thank you for sharing your story, and most importantly, thank you for being you。 I will not say that she is a survivor, because shoot。。。。anyone who made it to the age of 18, you survived childhood。However, I will say that the author has a laser focus on understanding WHY she is the way that she i Whoa! Let me take a few deep breaths。 This book。。。。WOW!I laid awake all last night wondering how I was going to write this review。First let me tell the author thank you。 Thank you for writing this book, thank you for sharing your story, and most importantly, thank you for being you。 I will not say that she is a survivor, because shoot。。。。anyone who made it to the age of 18, you survived childhood。However, I will say that the author has a laser focus on understanding WHY she is the way that she is。Not only that, she seeks out help from therapists, yogis, meditation, etc to help her understand herself and her world。I admire her。I saw myself alot in the book。 I won't get into gory details, but I too played the 'who had it worse game'。 I would watch daytime talk shows and longed for the child abuse stories so I could say。。。well I didn't have it THAT bad。 Or damn, why are they whining when I have it so much worse。The anger, the making of abuse as normal (the part of the book where the therapist says on a scale from 1-10, where is the abuse at。。。3。。。ok。。。what about this。。。。a 2) until something strikes out at you and you can work on that。I thank the author for writing this book, sharing her story, and trying to improve herself。 I am in awe。 Thank you to Netgalley and to the publisher for allowing me this ARC in exchange for this honest review。 。。。more

Jackie Sunday

Stephanie Foo has placed her life on the pages of this book after years of intense therapy as she searches for the kind of love we all want。 There is so much packed in this book on a number of issues: unfair childhood punishment, anxiety, harsh racism, women suffering from endometriosis and emotional stress。She opens with her mother's abuse revealing all the beatings she had as a child。 She was slapped and hit a number of times and thrown down a stairway。 After this happened, her mother would te Stephanie Foo has placed her life on the pages of this book after years of intense therapy as she searches for the kind of love we all want。 There is so much packed in this book on a number of issues: unfair childhood punishment, anxiety, harsh racism, women suffering from endometriosis and emotional stress。She opens with her mother's abuse revealing all the beatings she had as a child。 She was slapped and hit a number of times and thrown down a stairway。 After this happened, her mother would tell her she ruined her life。 Her father didn't come to the rescue but added his own form of abuse。 She found herself repeating aggressiveness taught by her parents。Like some friends with similar situations, she came home with good grades in spite of having very little sleep。 However, she had problems with trusting people and difficulties with relationships。 After years, she found herself depressed and anxious。 She wanted to erase the anger found from her mother's voice inside her head。 She addressed the feeling of being a misfit as an immigrant in this country。 She said, "I carry my past with me but it exists in moods and flashes。" Finally at age 30, her diagnosis was presented to her as complex PTSD。 She was determined to change with a range of self-help books and a new therapist that could provide her with a greater sense of help。I was impressed with the amount of research done with examples of how it helped her while putting her intimate feelings on paper。 While reading, I found myself pausing in places as she had a lot to say things I've never read before on various levels。 I cringed, however, with the times she stole food, clothes and other items。 She admitted she was angry and hurt people in the process。 The big reveal: we all want to be loved。 My thanks to Stephanie Foo, Ballantine Books and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced book with the expected release date of 02-22-2022。 。。。more

Sheila

I received an advance copy of, What My Bones Know, by Stepanie Foo。 I could not connect with the author at all, this is a hard book to read。 I did not like the language in this book either。

yamiyoghurt

I would like to thank the author for embracing her vulnerability and sharing her story with us。 It is an enlightening as well as educational read about the effects of psychological and physical abuse sustained in childhood。 Her strive to heal is inspiring and the details are useful to everyone who are trying to become a better person。